PDA

View Full Version : New Olympic Sport Announced



Funky Farmer
26-07-2012, 17:50
Just two days before the Olympic Games begin, a new sport has been added to the event - Moaning.

Britain is sure to get gold, as famous whinging Londoner Mona Lott will moan about the Olympics. :mad1:

n brown
26-07-2012, 18:03
that's wonderful news ! at my time of life i never thought there would be a chance of having a skill i could use to compete in the games ! but i bet there's an age limit,and they won't allow people with glasses,and you have to apply months ahead,can't be bothered sod 'em bunch of bloody pansies in their stupid lycra.it's all rigged anyway

Funky Farmer
26-07-2012, 18:28
that's wonderful news ! at my time of life i never thought there would be a chance of having a skill i could use to compete in the games ! but i bet there's an age limit,and they won't allow people with glasses,and you have to apply months ahead,can't be bothered sod 'em bunch of bloody pansies in their stupid lycra.it's all rigged anyway


That is the beauty of moaning. You don't need to be young or dressed in Lycra to do it. One could stand naked in the middle of Trafalgar Square and have a good moan and then moan again about being arrested. Yep, I think moaning is here to stay.

n brown
26-07-2012, 18:54
welllll, i'm not one to complain,after all,musn't grumble but it's one rule for the rich and sod the rest,bloody kids, don't know they're born,in my day my mother certainly couldn't afford to put crack in the baby's bottle,we had to work for it ,lord, LORD bloody coe!,he's no better than he ought to be posh git,soon forget us who put him there,never sent me any tickets did he ?not that i'd go anyway,load of foreigners coming over for a free holiday etc i could go on but whats the point,nobody wants to listen to a miserable small minded curmudgeonly old fart like me for some reason,,ah heres me tea! christ she took long enough still its here now blah blah

yorkslass
26-07-2012, 19:06
let"s face it, it"s what the british do best. I reckon their best subject has got to the weather. don"t think i"de get any medals standing anywhere naked:lol-049:the world aint ready for that.:banana::banana:

n brown
26-07-2012, 19:28
let"s face it, it"s what the british do best. I reckon their best subject has got to the weather. don"t think i"de get any medals standing anywhere naked:lol-049:the world aint ready for that.:banana::banana:

don't knock yourself they may have a medal for panache

Funky Farmer
26-07-2012, 19:38
Critics say txt spk is butchering the eng lang with abb'd wrds fr no reason. No gud monin tho

n brown
26-07-2012, 20:15
FF sake FF FO monin

Funky Farmer
26-07-2012, 20:35
Bloomin' quiet here innit. No good moaning if no bugha is listening :mad2:

All that changin' fings abaght. We don't know if we be on our r's or our elbows :rolleyes2:

Dezi
27-07-2012, 11:38
I came across this on an Aussie site some years ago & just knew that I would have the opportunty to use it.

The Wingen Competition by BLUE -- the shearer (Copyright Col Wilson)

In the Wingen Pub in Wingen, which is not too far from Scone,
Two men can whinge in tandem, or one can whinge alone.
Or a group can whinge in unison, for in the Wingen Pub,

The whingers in the public bar have formed a Whingeing Club.
They whinge about the weather, price of petrol for the car
And the GST is in the whingers’ repertoire.
They whinge about the price of beef, the falling price of wool,
And one bloke there just loves to whinge about his poofter bull.

They whinge about their relatives, their neighbours, and their friends,
In the Wingen Pub in Wingen, where the whingeing never ends.

The Publican of Wingen pub, an innovative chap,
Thought: "A world wide competition would give the pub some class.
‘Twould be fitting for the Wingen pub, as Wingen is its name,
And whingers whinge here anyway, if whingeing were the game."

So a whingeing competition was arranged, and whingers came
From all points of the compass in search of whingeing fame.
There were whingers from America, and from England too,
Where I’m told that whingeing well is what the English do.

The judges came from Sydney, where the world’s best whingers live,
Each carefully selected, so that they could give
Whingeing credibility; two women, and one man,
Whingers of renown themselves, and so the games began.

Most whinged about their spouses, their bosses, or their farm,
The government, the council, the things that threatened harm,
The Wingen Whingers did OK, and some scored them ahead,
But the Pommy whingers went real well, and most thought that they led,

Then there came a stranger, with a beaten, hangdog look,
Like a cross between a fly-blown sheep, and a worn out battery chook.
But when he started whingeing, it was clear he had the gift,
The kind of whingeing genius that gives the craft a lift.

He whinged about his babyhood, and when he was a lad,
He whinged about his mother, and he whinged about his dad,
His sisters, brothers, cousins, uncles, aunties by the score,
He whinged about his cat and dog, and then, he whinged some more.

He whinged about his physique, from his head down to his toes,
He whinged about the fact that he could never pick his nose
Because his grimy fingernails were bitten to the quick,
And then this whingeing whinger tried another whingeing trick.

He whinged in graphic detail about his operation,
The hospital, the surgeon, the maggot infestation,
Even hardened drinkers thought he’d gone a bit too far,
They had never heard a whinger whinge with whinges so bizarre.

It was worse than sixty minutes, and went on even longer,
He showed no sign of tiring, his voice kept getting stronger,
The judges tried to gong him. He insisted he be heard,
And the ghost of Hanrahan was there, applauding every word.

This whingeing virtuoso had all three judges cringin’
In the whingeing competition in the Wingen pub in Wingen.
He drew a tiny, mini breath. They prayed that he’d run out,
But: "There are some other matters I intend to whinge about...."

"NO MORE!!!" Sobbed the judges. "DESIST. BE QUIET. SHUT UP.
WE DECLARE YOU CHAMPION. YOU HAVE WON THE WHINGER’S CUP!!!"
"It isn’t very big," he whinged. "I thought it would be gold.
And publican, your beer’s too warm, and your pies too cold.

Your bar stools need more padding. You’re air conditioning’s stuffed.
Your TV’s bloody awful, and your clientele’s too rough.
Your toilet’s are disgraceful. You should be arrested,
Your service is abysmal, and your barmaid’s too flat-chested."

The locals threw the champion out. "Begone, and don’t return..
There is whingeing, and there’s whingeing. That’s something you should learn."
Things are back to normal now the whingeing champion’s gone,
From the Wingen pub in Wingen, which is not too far from Scone."

The publican’s had second thoughts. With eardrums badly scarred,
By such high speed non stop whingeing, so now all whingeing’s barred.
But should you want to whinge a bit, or see hows it is done,
Just amble up, in horse week, to the Royal Hotel, in Scone.


Dezi :pc:

Funky Farmer
27-07-2012, 12:22
Thank you Dezi.
Now for a singsong. Moanin' in the gloamin'(sp?) La la

Sailor, stop your moaning La la la


Tumultuous applause Raaaaaaaay!!!!! :lol-053:

scampa
27-07-2012, 13:11
UK Culture Secretary drops Olympic Clanger..........

BBC News - Jeremy Hunt has Olympic mishap as bell flies off handle (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19011788#)

Funky Farmer
27-07-2012, 13:12
UK Culture Secretary drops Olympic Clanger..........

BBC News - Jeremy Hunt has Olympic mishap as bell flies off handle (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19011788#)

Serves him right for allowing sourcing from China :lol-053:

Somelier
27-07-2012, 15:34
Well, with these bl**dy olympics, there's plenty to moan about, ain't there!!!:mad2:

Funky Farmer
27-07-2012, 16:27
Well, with these bl**dy olympics, there's plenty to moan about, ain't there!!!:mad2:

Like what? You can find something to moan about in anything if you look had enough. Lets give the games a chance first eh.

Somelier
27-07-2012, 21:11
Like what? You can find something to moan about in anything if you look had enough. Lets give the games a chance first eh.

Nope!:mad2:

AuldTam
28-07-2012, 01:06
Ladies Beach Volleyball....Now that's what I call sport!

3D TV just ordered....:cool:

Roger
28-07-2012, 01:45
Personally I think that clay pigeon shooting should be replaced by politician and banker shooting. The savings to the world economies would be enormous. Not only could the shooters receive medals but the "shootee" could also be judged on artistic merit when shot, longest death throw and noisiest death.

Think of the use of old politicians/bankers in the lead up to the games for practice as well.

It just makes sense.

Northerner
28-07-2012, 07:48
Personally I think that clay pigeon shooting should be replaced by politician and banker shooting. The savings to the world economies would be enormous. Not only could the shooters receive medals but the "shootee" could also be judged on artistic merit when shot, longest death throw and noisiest death.

Think of the use of old politicians/bankers in the lead up to the games for practice as well.

It just makes sense.

Unfortunately, without bankers and politicians the world economy would cease to exist and we'd descend into anarchy. Still, never let the facts get in the way of another bit of fun eh?

bopper
28-07-2012, 09:58
Unfortunately, without bankers and politicians the world economy would cease to exist and we'd descend into anarchy. Still, never let the facts get in the way of another bit of fun eh?

Can't say what I would like to say because I would be point scoring.

antiquesam
28-07-2012, 10:34
Unfortunately, without bankers and politicians the world economy would cease to exist and we'd descend into anarchy. Still, never let the facts get in the way of another bit of fun eh?

I don't think we need to do away with the breed, just cull them periodically.

Roger
28-07-2012, 18:06
I don't think we need to do away with the breed, just cull them periodically.

The Olympics would be ideal - every four years.


CLICK HERE TO REMOVE THESE ADVERTS