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View Full Version : Am I the only one who feels the need to be alone?



Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 06:32
I've now been retired for almost four months and have spent at least two thirds of that in the camper, the other third at home, but all of it with my wife 24/7. When I was work I used to see her for ten minutes when I took a drink up before leaving and for an hour or so over dinner, apart from weekends. No matter how much you love someone there comes a point when you need time alone, which is what I'm doing this weekend. Does anyone else feel the need to get away from their partner for a break?

Somelier
18-08-2012, 06:35
You're not alone, Greta Garbo felt that way too :wave:

Deleted user 21925
18-08-2012, 06:38
Every January, I head off up to Scotland with a tent and I camp in the Rothiemurchus Forest in the Cairngorms for a week, completely alone. I walk in the mountains and forest and absolutely love it.

Now we have the Motorhome, my wife is going to accompany me this year, but I will still have to find somewhere for 1 week a year, just to go and recharge.

herbenny
18-08-2012, 06:40
I have just spent two weeks away from my husband with no contact what so ever ...he has always worked away. It works well for us and I strongly believe its helped us sustain a happy/strong marriage for 22 years. Absence does make the heart grow fonder as they say............

It helps I think that I have always been a loner and can have some really interesting conversations with myself.....:wave:

Like Robmac I have often sought solitude by going somewhere remote whether it be a retreat or something......sometimes I like to shut myself off from the world ..bliss !!!!

mariesnowgoose
18-08-2012, 06:49
Oh, the joy of time on my own!

I wish. Rarely happens.

We work from home and my OH is a proper billy-no-mates (not his fault, he's deaf).

He went off on his own in the camper last weekend for the first time and it was absolute bliss here.

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/happy/happy-in-the-sun-smiley-emoticon.gif (http://www.sherv.net/happy.sun-emoticon-2086.html)


We get on really well most of the time, but you do need to get away from each other or you'd go mad.

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/funny/1/hypnotized-smiley.gif (http://www.sherv.net/hypnotized-emoticon-441.html)

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 06:51
I'm on a site called Tackeroo in the middle of the forest which has toilet emptying facilities and water for 10 a night. If an emergency arises at home I can be there in twenty minutes, but I'm far enough away for a break. I've always been a loner and used to go off walking a lot by myself, but somehow have managed to survive 35 years of marriage. I never stop my wife going off with friends whenever she want to , but we do spend a lot of time on the phone, so obviously need to stay in touch. With the weather this year it has been difficult to give each other space in the camper, as we've only put the awning up once, so this is ideal and the best of both worlds.

Deleted user 21925
18-08-2012, 06:56
I'm on a site called Tackeroo in the middle of the forest which has toilet emptying facilities and water for 10 a night. If an emergency arises at home I can be there in twenty minutes, but I'm far enough away for a break. I've always been a loner and used to go off walking a lot by myself, but somehow have managed to survive 35 years of marriage. I never stop my wife going off with friends whenever she want to , but we do spend a lot of time on the phone, so obviously need to stay in touch. With the weather this year it has been difficult to give each other space in the camper, as we've only put the awning up once, so this is ideal and the best of both worlds.

Looks nice! When I go to Rothiemurchus, I book in at the campsite so as to have access to the toilets and showers, but I camp in the forest for complete solitude, not that there is anyone else stupid enough to go on the campsite in January, but it is just nice to be surrounded just by trees, streams and snow!

herbenny
18-08-2012, 06:59
Looks nice! When I go to Rothiemurchus, I book in at the campsite so as to have access to the toilets and showers, but I camp in the forest for complete solitude, not that there is anyone else stupid enough to go on the campsite in January, but it is just nice to be surrounded just by trees, streams and snow!

Rob That sounds like heaven on earth :wave:

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 07:08
7525

I took this about five minutes ago. The site can get busy as it's on a mountain bike track and near a ropes course, but this morning it's really quiet, despite the CC rally farther over. The forest is 11 miles long, but most of the car parks and laybys have no overnighting signs and as I live locally and know the Country Park managers I don't like to take the P

Deleted user 21925
18-08-2012, 07:09
Rob That sounds like heaven on earth :wave:

It is Jac, but it won't be the same in the motorhome, so next year (probably February), I plan to go to the Knoydart Peninsular with my tent. The Old Forge Inn at Inverie is the most remote pub in mainland Britain. This means that I will have to leave the car and set off on foot with my tent and gear (The nearest road is 17 miles from Inverie), across the Knoydart peninsular to the coast and Inverie, have a couple of nights camping near the pub and hopefully take in a ceilidh, and then walk back.

Can't wait!

kimbowbill
18-08-2012, 07:50
I wouldn't have it any other way, i have a fantastic family and group of friends, i never have to be alone if i don't want to, i have a friend with benefits :scared: so really i miss out on nothing :lol-061:

Ems
18-08-2012, 07:51
I'm the opposite, been single for a long time so I spend too much time on my own! I look forward to meeting up with friends and family at the weekends. I'm often on my own at work which doesn't help and can go a couple of days without speaking to anyone thanks to emails! I think I'd change though if I did meet someone as I'd miss my own space. When I visit my brothers its nice to come home to the peace and quiet :lol-053:

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 07:59
I wouldn't have it any other way, i have a fantastic family and group of friends, i never have to be alone if i don't want to, i have a friend with benefits :scared: so really i miss out on nothing :lol-061:

Do you mean he works for DSS? :shag:

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 08:03
Typical Scorpio, very intense and very single minded, so although I have a wife and two lovely daughters, they need a break from me as well. i don't go out alone much when I'm home, which is why I enjoyed meeting other members at Netherseal and am looking forward to meeting more of you at other meets.

oldish hippy
18-08-2012, 08:08
well split from partener a few years now ,hate it on my own as most of our freinds sided with her and did want anything to do with me .so i like ems except i dont have family around i can go week or more before i see anyone and that is only if igo shopping and that is the till operator the longest time i spent with anybody in was when i went tostonehenge / st day in cornwall i enjoyed the company ok coming home after that was really down for few weeks,but do struggle to make freind after the break up suppose it a trust issue so just did nt bother and being out of work doesnt help as spend a lot of time at home as got health issue and do not wish to burden anyone with them just feel like it wouldnt be fair not looking for a nurse can do stuff mind the the thought of a naughty nurse {lets not go there lol}:giggle:
ok you do need a break from each other ,just try and sort out time apart and when you get back together then make most of it ,treat her to wkend away and see if any of her girlfreinds want to go offer to take them and pick them up , as living together 24/7 can strain a relationship as you dont get time apart and do something dofferent then you have nothing to talk about ,ie what have you done today well thwy know what you done as they been with you so find something just you to do on your own or find a hobby you both like and can start together

kimbowbill
18-08-2012, 08:14
well split from partener a few years now ,hate it on my own as most of our freinds sided with her and did want anything to do with me .so i like ems except i dont have family around i can go week or more before i see anyone and that is only if ig o shopping and that is the till operator the longest time i spent with anybody was when i went o st day in cornwall i enjoyed the company ok coming home after that was really down for few weeks,but ddo struggle to make freind after the break up suppose it a trust issue so just did nt bother ok you do need a break from each other ,just try and sort out time apart and when you get back together then make most of it ,treat her to wkend away and see if any of her girlfreinds want to go offer to take them and pick them up , as living together 24/7 can strain a relationship as you dont get time apart and do something dofferent then you have nothing to talk about ,ie what have you done today well thwy know what you done as they been with you so find something just you to do on your own or find a hobby you both like and can start together

I haven't chosen a life of singledom either, my partner of 17 years decided to live a different lifestyle than me, one that i choose not to live, this doesn't stop me getting out there and meeting new people, as heartbroken as i am, life goes on and nobody should drag you down, the friends that you made as a couple should still remain your friends irrelevant of your differences, if they choose not to speak to you, they don't deserve to be your friends xx

jamesmarshall
18-08-2012, 08:14
I've now been retired for almost four months and have spent at least two thirds of that in the camper, the other third at home, but all of it with my wife 24/7. When I was work I used to see her for ten minutes when I took a drink up before leaving and for an hour or so over dinner, apart from weekends. No matter how much you love someone there comes a point when you need time alone, which is what I'm doing this weekend. Does anyone else feel the need to get away from their partner for a break?

Without doubt Bushtrekker, you are not alone in wanting to be alone (no pun intended). My opportunity comes when I go paragliding for the occasional weekend. Though Jackie has never said it, I suspect she enjoys some personal time away from me. We are human beings, many faceted and complex. Each of us is better for having all our emotional needs met but we so often allow other responsibilites and daily life events to subsume those needs.
Get out there, recharge those emotional batteries, all the better to be able to offer Mrs Bushtrekker some affection and attention when you return. Enjoy.

mariesnowgoose
18-08-2012, 08:23
You're a right bunch of softies.

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/hug/hug-from-behind.gif (http://www.sherv.net/surprise.hug-emoticon-853.html)


:giggle:



http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/hug/smiley-gets-a-big-hug.gif (http://www.sherv.net/smiley.big.hug-emoticon-847.html)

Deleted user 21925
18-08-2012, 08:27
You're a right bunch of softies.

Not me, when I get back, I demand me dinner, otherwise it's the back of me 'and

She's not looking is she:cry:

Ems
18-08-2012, 08:29
well split from partener a few years now ,hate it on my own as most of our freinds sided with her and did want anything to do with me .so i like ems except i dont have family around i can go week or more before i see anyone and that is only if igo shopping and that is the till operator the longest time i spent with anybody in was when i went tostonehenge / st day in cornwall i enjoyed the company ok coming home after that was really down for few weeks,but do struggle to make freind after the break up suppose it a trust issue so just did nt bother and being out of work doesnt help as spend a lot of time at home as got health issue and do not wish to burden anyone with them just feel like it wouldnt be fair not looking for a nurse can do stuff mind the the thought of a naughty nurse {lets not go there lol}:giggle:


I don't see family that often, although have just been to Devon with them. My brother is too busy with kids and strange shifts, and my parents are over an hour a way, which doesn't sound much but after a days work its too far to pop round for a cuppa!

I join clubs/forums and meet people that way although I do struggle to make long term friendships. I think I'll always be a loner as I'm a bit different and have always been very independent. As long as I can get out and meet like minded people from time to time I'm happy :wacko: It does take quite a bit of effort sometimes, and in the winter it becomes much harder. I'm looking forward to some winter camping this year so maybe things will change!

Buying my campervan has opened up a whole new world and I met loads of friendly people travelling around Scotland and at the meet I attended :)

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 08:30
When I get back I'm more likely to be cooking dinner.

tiderus
18-08-2012, 09:03
Hi,know just how you feel.

Wipe your feet, take your coat off,

Your car looks like a tip. When did you wash it last.

Did you do mine as well.

Do you fancy a jump love, If you mended the fence then maybe we could! (Sarcasm)

And leaving the seat up. Well, didn't know it was a national crime?

On and on, you know what I mean Lads don't you?

Well the answer is simple!

Get a Dog!

7530

Whatever youv'e done they are always glad to see you.

Always a warm welcome.

Mess no problem,

The other answer is simple as well.

Carry a picture of her in doors when you were younger.

Coudn't wait to get home together?

Here's mine. (Thats why I did it?)

7529

Somthing about the good old days rings a bell?

The young Lad in the back ground is 50 now. Struth! wheres the time gone.

I would dearly like to go off on me own, but the backlash aint worth it.

Anyway she wouldn't let me, so you've reached stage two, just lucky I suppose?

Rgd's Graham.

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 09:12
I join clubs/forums and meet people that way although I do struggle to make long term friendships. I think I'll always be a loner as I'm a bit different and have always been very independent.

Buying my campervan has opened up a whole new world and I met loads of friendly people travelling around Scotland and at the meet I attended :)

Campers do tend to open up the world. I fitted a solar panel before going to France, so now I only need to fill up with water and empty the loo about once a week if I'm in here by myself and am completely independent otherwise. I've got friends I've known since I was 11, but rarely see them, as interests and personal circumstances change over the years. As long as I have a signal on the dongle I can talk to anyone from anywhere, although I'm going off the whole Facebook experience as people will insist on telling you the smallest details of their lives, which may be of interest to them, but not to anyone else.

Ems
18-08-2012, 09:22
Campers do tend to open up the world. I fitted a solar panel before going to France, so now I only need to fill up with water and empty the loo about once a week if I'm in here by myself and am completely independent otherwise. I've got friends I've known since I was 11, but rarely see them, as interests and personal circumstances change over the years. As long as I have a signal on the dongle I can talk to anyone from anywhere, although I'm going off the whole Facebook experience as people will insist on telling you the smallest details of their lives, which may be of interest to them, but not to anyone else.

I'm currently avoiding facebook for just that reason! 2 weeks without logging so far and I've been much more productive since then. Loads of little jobs on the van done!

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 09:30
...do I really want to know that someones spotty kid has just passed an exam, their partner has finally seen the light and left them, or have to look at endless pictures of their kids? Recently an ex colleague's daughter was 18 and we got endless posts of her, including her first tattoo!!! I prefer MSN, as I can appear offline when I'm chatting to one person, or Skype, so I can see facial expressions when I'm talking. None of my family are allowed to be my friend on Facebook, as friends and family are two different aspects of my life and I'm also not into adding friends of friends of friends.

I sometimes worry about how much the internet has taken over our lives...he says, posting on an internet forum:D

Deleted user 21925
18-08-2012, 13:11
My missus often says that she feels that I should be alone!:cry:

northernspirit2001
18-08-2012, 14:51
I have to deal with numbers of people at work so thats my excuse, i prefer to sit (and talk sometimes) to my chickens ducks and hawk. I am not really anti-social with humans, i just think dealing with people and seeing what they are capable of, on and off the tellybox, makes me feel i want out of the people club!

Somelier
18-08-2012, 16:14
Typical Scorpio, very intense and very single minded

Oh, you don't believe in that nonsense do you?

maingate
18-08-2012, 16:16
Oh, you don't believe in that nonsense do you?

I don't either.

I think that is because I am Aries. :giggle:

n brown
18-08-2012, 16:34
i didn't till someone opened a book and said' you're not keen on water,like to be in charge,hate tomatoes and love sex ' spot on! and even years later some of those things are still true

antiquesam
18-08-2012, 17:02
I gave up the daily grind last September, having spent most of each week away from home, and we have both spent a lot of time under each others feet since then, but I found recently that my hearing is quite selective and as long as she keeps doing the washing and cooking I let her stay around. :juggle:

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 17:08
I'm surrounded by caravans and mountain bikers. Every so often the strains of rock music from the V festival drift across and I had a text this afternoon from another member who is now driving over for WC mini meet.

Firefox
18-08-2012, 17:24
I'm happy either way. I like my own company or that of most others so long as they are interesting people. The only thing I cant cope with is a clingy type relationship where everything has to be done together. Tried that and it didn't last too long. Most of my close friends tend to be unconventional types like me though!

lotty
18-08-2012, 17:46
I don't like spending too much time alone.
I met my husband at work and for the 1st 3 years of our relationship we worked and lived together. After that we bought our shop and now work different shifts so don't see each other until 9pm at night so weekends and spare time we like to spend together.
I don't have children or a big circle of friends so I find it hard spending my days off on my own, there's only so much housework you want to do to fill your day!
Believe it or not, I am quite shy and don't like big groups or crowds which makes mixing a little difficult.
On saying that though, after 2 weeks in the van with hubby does make me want to hit him with the frying pan! :lol-053:

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 17:56
I'm quite enjoying some me time for a change, but not sure I'd want it to be a permanent arrangement. It is strange being with each other constantly and takes some getting used to. I enjoyed the Netherseal meet as everyone got on so well and it was a change for me, as I'm normally alone when I take off somewhere and I'm looking forward to some company this evening if they ever find the place.

lotty
18-08-2012, 18:06
Jen's a lot quieter than me!! :lol-049:

Go wild
18-08-2012, 18:12
Think it all hinges on whether you like your own company or not.
I like to go away alone sometimes purely because you can do things at your own pace or how the mood takes you.

Bushtrekker
18-08-2012, 18:19
'Are there any car keys here?' 'Yes, but locked in the car, which is alarmed' 'I wanted to mow the lawn tonight.' 'It's sunny tomorrow and you can't drive.'

What she really meant was could I come and move the car.

Somelier
18-08-2012, 19:03
There are some very odd people on here (so what's new?)

I've been with to SWMBO for 35 years and I don't see the need to "get away" on my own. We have great fun together, whether at home or in the MH.

Life is give and take and if you can't both do this, then why stay married?

Kontiki
18-08-2012, 22:53
There are some very odd people on here (so what's new?)

I've been with to SWMBO for 35 years and I don't see the need to "get away" on my own. We have great fun together, whether at home or in the MH.

Life is give and take and if you can't both do this, then why stay married?

I'm like you except been married for 38 years, been retired for the last 6 years & had numerous trips away mostly in Europe so at times we are the only ones we can talk to (not very good at languages but I try) We both still share the same interests & pastimes.

Met quite a few people who have separated after retirement as they have found out they haven't as much in common as they thought.

Bushtrekker
19-08-2012, 06:20
I don't fit into that category though, they've hardly spoken for years, whereas we never stop talking and even when one of us does go off alone we run up the minutes on our mobiles. I still feel that people need their own space though, which is something we agreed from day one and I'm just packing up to head home, mow the lawn, then hopefully head off to the Forest of Dean for a few days with my wife.

I had a pleasant evening when Pink off here came over with her friend to have a look at the site for future reference and I was very impressed with Bertie, her camper. We had a moment of excitement when a fire engine turned up on site, presumably someone had seen the very small camp fire someone had and rung them. Just before they arrived my daughter and her boyfriend came up to see me, so I had a pleasant end to my couple of days alone.

kimbowbill
19-08-2012, 06:28
I don't fit into that category though, they've hardly spoken for years, whereas we never stop talking and even when one of us does go off alone we run up the minutes on our mobiles. I still feel that people need their own space though, which is something we agreed from day one and I'm just packing up to head home, mow the lawn, then hopefully head off to the Forest of Dean for a few days with my wife.

I had a pleasant evening when Pink off here came over with her friend to have a look at the site for future reference and I was very impressed with Bertie, her camper. We had a moment of excitement when a fire engine turned up on site, presumably someone had seen the very small camp fire someone had and rung them. Just before they arrived my daughter and her boyfriend came up to see me, so I had a pleasant end to my couple of days alone.

or maybe someone saw the sparks between you two, :wacko::wacko::wacko:

oldish hippy
19-08-2012, 06:28
glad you had good evening well being aloneall well and good but it is not nice when you are alone and dont see anyone for days and generally only have one sane conversation a month ok you do need time out that is what work give you but you lose that upon retirement so unless you have something planned then a few days away until you settle in to it and each take a hobby that gives you time apart it can be stressfull i suppose

herbenny
19-08-2012, 06:53
There are some very odd people on here (so what's new?)

I've been with to SWMBO for 35 years and I don't see the need to "get away" on my own. We have great fun together, whether at home or in the MH.

Life is give and take and if you can't both do this, then why stay married?

I suppose we are not odd we are all just different ! .....each to thier own and what does not work for one couple might work for another. Me and my husband have great times together, its a laugh a minute, but time away from each other enhances that.

There is plenty of give an take ....he gives and I take.... simples !!! :banana:

Bushtrekker
19-08-2012, 17:59
A relationship is about a partnership, not one person dominating the way the relationship operates. My wife used to work with someone and when she asked her opinion on something in the news replied that her husband thought whatever, the implication being that it wasn't her place to have an opinion. Queen Victoria is long dead and I find it difficult to believe that in this day age there are till these sort of relationships about. I also have a friend who has never spent a day away from her husband in 41 years...why? When my wife and I got married we agreed that we would give each other space and do some things together and some things apart and have never felt the need to change this. We do have different interests, we don't always agree about everything and this is the way a healthy relationship should be. We also argue a lot and then make up, as it's never about anything serious. The days when the man went out to work and the woman was tied to the home are long gone and the world is a better place for it.

The only inequality in our house is that I can cook and my wife can't work on the car:D

mariesnowgoose
19-08-2012, 18:08
The only inequality in our house is that I can cook and my wife can't work on the car:D

Love it! Send her on a mechanics course. :lol-049::lol-053:

caspar
20-08-2012, 22:17
Only read some of this thread, but I would love to have time on my own. Sadly I have an illness which necessitates 24 hour care. This means I get a variety of carers, usually my long suffering, fantastic wife, but NEVER get time by myself. I would dearly love just to be left alone for an hour or two in some remote spot as someone I used to be friends with said, "just to listen to the silence!"


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