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n brown
31-10-2013, 09:36
a man walks into a zoo
there's only one animal in the entire zoo-a dog
it's a shih tzu

oldish hippy
31-10-2013, 09:42
a man walks into a zoo
there's only one animal in the entire zoo-a dog
it's a shih tzu

they get worse groooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn

n brown
31-10-2013, 10:39
a woman in a restaurant starts screaming '' help ! my son's just swallowed the sixpence from the xmas pud,and he's choking''. a man saunters over,smiling pleasantly,grab's the boy by his gonads and squeezes hard, and the coin comes flying out
''thank you '' cries the woman,''are you a paramedic ?''
''no'' replies the man,'' I work for the Inland Revenue !''

Bopper
31-10-2013, 10:57
Man starts working in a zoo, It's his first day. " I want you to clean out the large Koi carp pond" he says to him. The man gets to work by draining down the pool a bit so he can start work. Around 11am he takes off for a sandwitch and a cup of tea. He gets talking to one of the lady keepers and forgets the pond. When he gets back he sees the pond drained with just a few of the fish flipping about in the bottom. Quickly filling the pond again he looks around to see if he has been spotted. What will I do with the dead fish he thought, as a nearby lion roared. That's it!! I'll throw them into the lions cage. Two hours later he has finished and goes to see the head keeper. "OK go and feed the chimps now" he says. The man enters the Chimp enclosure and is immediately set upon by three of the chimps. Siezing a nearby spade he wacks the chimps until the stop.... he realises now that he has killed three chimps. He panics and throws the chimps to the lions. Much later we find the man at the bee hives. He has been told to collect the honey but by now the bees have attacked him numerous times and he has been stung profusely. He smashes the hives and tramples the bees to death, again he disposes of the dead to the Lions cage.
Next day he is asked to help when a new lion is introduced to the pride within the lion enclosure. The lion is safely installed and ambles up to the others. "Hi, my name is Septer and I am from Antwerp Zoo in Germany" "Hello and welcome" Says the large male. The new lion asks... "What's it like here?" "Great" Says the large Lion. "The place is clean, New straw every day and brilliant variety of food...... yesterday we had Fish, Chimps and Mushy Bees".


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