View Full Version : Just a few quickies?

07-11-2013, 17:56
A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race-related.


Due to the water shortage in Ireland , Dublin City Pool has announced it's closing lanes 7 and 8.


I got a text from 'ScrewFix Direct' thanking me for my interest, but explaining they weren't a Dating Agency.


The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was buggered by the gay Genie on stage last night
to be fair the audience did try to warn him.


Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man its 2.50/min. Network charges may vary...


Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking,
"What products do you use for grooming." She was a bit taken aback when I replied "Facebook".


Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and my girl. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at pool.


Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having violent sex there and then. I just love my new Taser!


Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area.
I've called him 'Bradford'.