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donkey too
14-01-2014, 09:45
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"

"Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"

Sharon the Cat
14-01-2014, 09:56
Mickey Mouse went to see his lawyer to ask about a divorce from Minnie.

The lawyer asked him to explain his grounds.

When Mickey had told him he said. "I'm sorry Mr Mouse but I don't really see that Minnie having buck teeth will be seen as good enough grounds for a divorce."

Mickey said "I didn't say she had buck teeth I said she was f#cking Goofy!"

That is the only joke I have remembered for 30 years.

Bopper
14-01-2014, 10:11
I was walking past the mental hospital the other

day and all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13'

The fence was too high to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks and

looked through to see what was going on.

Someone poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...

Bopper
15-01-2014, 09:33
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun-dress, walked into the Pub.

She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all

the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The Pub went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.

But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the

counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"

The barman poured the drink and the woman drank it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them,

revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said,

"Give the ballerina another drink!"

The barman approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Mate,

it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep

calling her the ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

Wooie1958
15-01-2014, 09:40
Why are Elephants big, grey and wrinkly ?

Because if they were small, white and round they`d be called Aspirin.

loulou
15-01-2014, 10:41
A FARMER DECIDED HE WANTED TO GO TO TOWN
AND SEE A MOVIE.

THE TICKET AGENT ASKED,
"SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?"

THE OLD FARMER SAID,
"THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK.
WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES."

"I'M SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT
"WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."

THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER
AND STUFFED CHUCK DOWN HIS OVERALLS.
THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH,
BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER.

HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS
NAMED ETHEL & MILDRED.

THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. .. ..
THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCK COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT
AND WATCH THE MOVIE.

"ETHEL", WHISPERED MILDRED.

"WHAT?" SAID ETHEL.

"I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT."

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED ETHEL?

"HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT", WHISPERED MILDRED.

"WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT", SAID ETHEL..
"AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL"

"I THOUGHT SO TOO", SAID MILDRED,
"BUT THIS ONE IS EATIN' MY POPCORN...!"

:raofl::raofl::raofl:

donkey too
15-01-2014, 12:55
Wanted A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

Interested?
Then please only read lines 1, 3 and 5;
still interested?
Call me at...... 8250-0327


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