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Pauljenny
23-05-2014, 15:28
In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.

After welcoming his replacement, and showing the courtesies that protocol decrees (gin and tonic with cucumber sandwiches), the retiring colonel said, "You really must meet Captain Smithers, my right-hand man. God, he's really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."

Smithers was summoned & introduced to the new CO, who was shocked to see a toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, standing less than three feet tall.

The retiring Colonel said "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."


"Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the boxing Olympics. I have researched the history of "

Here the Colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, yes; never mind that, Smithers; the new CO can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you called the witch doctor a twat."

n brown
23-05-2014, 18:03
driving along the other day i thought i saw singing legend Van Morrison behind me ! unfortunately,like a fool, i forgot that images in mirrors are reversed, and in fact i was looking at a Morrison's van

loulou
23-05-2014, 18:28
driving along the other day i thought i saw singing legend Van Morrison behind me ! unfortunately,like a fool, i forgot that images in mirrors are reversed, and in fact i was looking at a Morrison's van

Mr Broon, this one caught me off guard and I had to have a real chuckle, you're so funny.

:lol-049::lol-049::lol-049:

trevskoda
23-05-2014, 19:23
sometimes i see ecilop in my r mirror :scared:

baloothebear
24-05-2014, 05:17
now stolen - many thanks :)

rockape
24-05-2014, 12:52
driving along the other day i thought i saw singing legend Van Morrison behind me ! unfortunately,like a fool, i forgot that images in mirrors are reversed, and in fact i was looking at a Morrison's van It ASDA be a better joke than that Nigel.


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