View Full Version : Barnsley Lad

04-07-2014, 10:22
A small zoo in Barnsley acquired a very rare species of

gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very

difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.

The gorilla was in season and to make matters worse, there was no male

gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper

thought of Albert Tobytyke, a local lad & part-time worker responsible

for cleaning the animal cages.

Albert, like many Barnsley blokes, felt he had ample ability

to satisfy any female. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a

solution, so Albert was approached with a proposition. Would he be

willing to mate with the gorilla for £500?

Albert showed some interest, but said he would have to think

the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he

would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:

1. "First up", Albert said, "No kissin’ on’t lips." The

Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. "Secund", he said, "Tha’ can’t ever tell anybody abaht

this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. "Thurd", Albert said, "Ah want all’t bairns raised as

Barnsley fans." Once again it was agreed.

4. "And last of all", Albert stated, "Tha’s got to gi me

another week to come up wi’ 500 quid”

Tin hat at the ready