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Toonman
10-07-2014, 22:14
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

Bartender: "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
Pirate: "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

Bartender, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

Pirate: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
Bartender: "What about that eye patch?"

Pirate: "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them **** in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you lost an eye just from bird ****."

Pirate: "It was my first day with the hook."


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