View Full Version : Shopping at Aldi

30-07-2014, 17:00
One day, inline at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a private doctor”
“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money”, Mike replies.

“There is a diagnostic computer down at Aldi’s. Just give a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs five pounds. A lot cheaper than a private doctor.”

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Aldi’s.

He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Aldi’s.”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Aldi’s, eager to check the results. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a softener. (Isle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Isle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. Not yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Aldi.


30-07-2014, 22:33
fekin belter loulou, I'm nickin that yoke:wacko:

31-07-2014, 20:15
Hahaha love it :lol-049::lol-053:

01-08-2014, 07:03
do aldi do full size nappys.