PDA

View Full Version : Alex Salmond



Tezza33
16-08-2014, 11:06
Alex Salmond walked into the Edinburgh branch of HSBC to cash a cheque.
As he approached the cashier he said "Good morning , could you please cash this cheque for me"?

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir. Can you please show me your ID?"

Salmond: "Well I didn't bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to - I am Alex Salmond, First Minister for Scotland.
Cashier: "Im sorry, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc. I must insist on proof of identity."

Salmond: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry First Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Salmond: "I need this cheque cashed."

Cashier: "Perhaps theres another way: One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Colin Montgomery and cashed his cheque.

Another time, Andy Murray came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his cheque. So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the First Minister?"

Salmond stood there thinking and finally says: "Honestly, I can't think of a single thing I'm good at."

Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes, First Minister?"

John H
16-08-2014, 11:19
Didn't I recently read that same joke about Nick Clegg? :rolleyes2:

roamingman
16-08-2014, 11:24
Yes

Tezza33
16-08-2014, 11:31
I just saw it somewhere else, it is one of those where the name gets changed I suppose

Spav
16-08-2014, 12:06
It caters for most prejudices. ;)

fairytooth
16-08-2014, 16:26
Salmond and Sturgeon running Scotland after the Vote? Something fishy going on if you ask me.

Siimplyloco
16-08-2014, 16:43
Salmond and Sturgeon running Scotland after the Vote? Something fishy going on if you ask me.

There you go, egging us on again! Go and roe your boat somewhere else!:boat:

Mastodon
16-08-2014, 17:12
If Wee Eck gets into power Scotland will become a third world country.



...some progress then.

mandrake
16-08-2014, 18:12
Didn't I recently read that same joke about Nick Clegg? :rolleyes2:

nick clegg is a joke he managed to do what other leaders of the liberals couldn't do . MAKE HIMSELF LOOK A KNOB HEAD thinking he was in power , but the shame about it is he thinks he is in power ,not the puppet of another knob head that loves his own voice . that is somewhat lacking in the balls to take charge of even his own mind .

oh sorry to all the liberals .they did manage to gain power of this country ,back in the fifties i belive ,then the electorate saw sence and forgot the liberals ,because they made the biggest balls of it anybody has


CLICK HERE TO REMOVE THESE ADVERTS