PDA

View Full Version : over 60



Wee-z
31-01-2009, 13:39
Some things are so stupid that they make sense This makes a lot of
sense me
Recruiting Guys over 60 ----this is funny & obviously written by a former
soldier----
New Direction for any war:Send Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old
to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 55 to join the military.
They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year
olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier.
'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and
maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.
In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have
attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!
Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so theycan read it.

BedfordMJ
31-01-2009, 14:24
I'm not over 55 but get me an SLR and I'm with you brother, don't forget we need plenty of alcohol and I couldn't do any 'dry' tours the dt's would probably kill me.

Pioneer
31-01-2009, 14:46
Hi Wee-z,
Count me in, and I'll bring along a bottle or two, purely medicinal you understand. Also look after the weapons (ex Armourer, REME). We need a good Chef, VM, Storeman etc, any volunteers? Could form the next A Team or Dads Army.

Happy Camping:)

BedfordMJ
31-01-2009, 14:50
I've got a Bedford! can't find my webbing but I've still some coveralls and some compo sausages.

Pioneer
31-01-2009, 14:59
I've got a Bedford! can't find my webbing but I've still some coveralls and some compo sausages.

Great vehicles, learned to drive in the Bedford RL and Land Rover. Keep your webbing handy (for the butties) you never know what's around the corner;) The sausages can be thrown away now, we'll get some fresh.


Happy Camping:)

mandrake
31-01-2009, 15:03
Hi Wee-z,
Count me in, and I'll bring along a bottle or two, purely medicinal you understand. Also look after the weapons (ex Armourer, REME). We need a good Chef, VM, Storeman etc, any volunteers? Could form the next A Team or Dads Army.

Happy Camping:)
i can rustle up a good stew and i will look after the booze :D and am a dab hand with a shotgun .

Pioneer
31-01-2009, 15:06
i can rustle up a good stew and i will look after the booze :D and am a dab hand with a shotgun .

That's great we have a Chef, can't beat a good stew, maybe put a little booze in the stew.

Happy Camping:)

mandrake
31-01-2009, 15:09
yep a drop of booze in the stew will be good i would have to sample it beforehand of course and whilst cooking the stew just to see all was ok :D

BedfordMJ
31-01-2009, 15:18
Can someone sign my work ticket? I'm ready to go. Nothing like a good range stew.

grath
31-01-2009, 16:29
Your forgetting the Austin Champ, with the get out of jail fast trump card:D
4 gears forward and if in trouble down a dead end road, you just pulled the lever back and you had 4 reverse gears :D:cool::D:cool:

Pioneer
31-01-2009, 16:58
What price memories.:)


Happy Camping:)

BedfordMJ
31-01-2009, 17:04
Your forgetting the Austin Champ, with the get out of jail fast trump card:D
4 gears forward and if in trouble down a dead end road, you just pulled the lever back and you had 4 reverse gears :D:cool::D:cool:

A certain Baloo the bear has some tales of the Austin Champ too.

grath
31-01-2009, 19:06
A certain Baloo the bear has some tales of the Austin Champ too.

Baloo did a quick bunk a little while ago, Tell him to get his ar*e in gear and get back here:D
Could do with a little banter:D

BedfordMJ
31-01-2009, 19:11
I understand he has been a bit busy of late. I'll give him a nudge.

Wee-z
31-01-2009, 20:04
well that one brought dads army out in force,
Ill get you all signed up for Afghanistan tomorrow :D:D:D

weez
Tny

grath
31-01-2009, 20:05
well that one brought dads army out in force,
Ill get you all signed up for Afghanistan tomorrow

weez
Tny

Dads army:confused::confused:, you mean Grandads army:eek::eek::D:D:eek::eek::rolleyes::rolleyes:

mandrake
31-01-2009, 20:12
grandads army cheek just one thought its gona cost me to travel to the signing up point as i dont have a bus pass :eek::D:D

grath
31-01-2009, 20:14
As soon as I get time, I will be ordering mine from our local library:D

Wee-z
31-01-2009, 20:25
thanks Grath I am a great grandad I guess that lets me out:)

weez
Tony

grath
31-01-2009, 20:28
thanks Grath I am a great grandad I guess that lets me out:)

weez
Tony

You bl**dy old f**t:D:D:D:D
only joking:D:D:D

BedfordMJ
31-01-2009, 20:38
well that one brought dads army out in force,
Ill get you all signed up for Afghanistan tomorrow :D:D:D

weez
Tny

No 'Dry' tours or i'm not going.

BedfordMJ
31-01-2009, 20:39
grandads army cheek just one thought its gona cost me to travel to the signing up point as i dont have a bus pass :eek::D:D

Your travel warrent will be in the post.

Telstar
31-01-2009, 20:41
Unfortunately I am not old enough to join you so I will assist the war effort by ensuring that during these difficult times that the single malts produced up north are of excellent quality until you all return.

ps Can you get to the front line on the bus? Evidently in Chesterfield the old dears think nothing of going to the coast for the day. Its costing that Council 11% of its total budget to pay for the bus fares.

Jon

Wee-z
31-01-2009, 21:02
Grath

I think that calls for a Dick Emery answer

Ooh you are awful but I do like you!:D:D:D:D

weez
Tony

mandrake
31-01-2009, 21:03
even though you are a little young you can be batman to field martial wee z can you remember pike in dads army he was only young :D

t&s
03-02-2009, 21:03
over 60 and just retired ime glad to be out of the rat race
and am enjoying all the consessions available for the over 60s

lenny
03-02-2009, 21:33
My mam kept bragging to her mates that I was a Field Marshall in the Terriers:eek::o

No mam :rolleyes:, I was Court Marshalled:eek::p:D,, I would remind her:cool:

Pioneer
05-02-2009, 15:45
Hi All,
enjoyed the thread and had a good laugh, but now to a more serious note.

I found a petition that is setup on (petitions.number10.gov.uk) regarding the re-naming of a road from RAF Lynham to Wooten Bassett. This is the road that all the fallen Servicemen are taken when being returned home to the UK, from a theatre of war. The petition requests that the road be named, Highway of Hero's. I thought it a fitting tribute and signed, hope some of you guys will do the same. You do not have to be ex-services to do so. Thanks.

On the website go to International affairs and Defense to find the petition

mandrake
05-02-2009, 21:08
exelent post thank you will sign up now .

Pioneer
06-02-2009, 21:34
Hi mandrake,
I have moved my recent post, to the Highway of Hero's thread, in General Chat, in the hope that more people will read it, thanks for your reply, appreciated.

mandrake
06-02-2009, 22:30
your welcome ,good idea to move the post as more will see it .


CLICK HERE TO REMOVE THESE ADVERTS