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Tezza33
08-05-2016, 17:23
1. My sex life hardly exists any more, so I've converted to Islam and changed my name too Seldom Bin Laid ......

2. Bought some 'Jamie Oliver Sausages' yesterday. On the packet it said 'Prick with a fork'.
I thought, can't argue with that!

3. When cooking Alphabet Soup, don't leave it unattended, it could spell disaster.

4. Had a row with my wife last night, she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me and it only just missed my head.
It must have been Lenor because it was a bit too close for Comfort.

5. I love that new Korean vegetarian snack pot. Not Poodle.

6. My mate makes crockery disappear. I said are you a wizard? He said no I'm a saucerer.

7. Whoever stole my trainers whilst I was on the bouncy castle, just grow up!

8. Just bought an ABBA toilet .... wow! what a loo.....

9. I've swapped our bed for a trampoline. My wife hit the roof .....

10. Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them; they said it would be just like winning the Lotto.
I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off, and to my horror, we had six matching balls!

pugman
09-05-2016, 16:17
ADMIN, we need a groan button!

Tezza33
09-05-2016, 16:32
ADMIN, we need a groan button!I think I know what you mean and I posted them


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