View Full Version : A few more

29-09-2018, 21:45
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache"

I hear some sick thieves have stolen Stephen Hawking's keyboard.
When asked to comment about the theft Mr Hawkins was speechless!

A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
His wife replies, 'You've got a bigger **** than your brother.'

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the correct answer is Africa.

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up.
She said I had to stop playing with myself
When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

Someone has just thrown a block of Cheese at ME !
It was a MASSIVE lump !
I thought TO myself that's NOT very MATURE !

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.
At first I was afraid then I was petrified.