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Thread: Nursery rhymes for adults

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    Nursery rhymes for adults



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    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    The structure of the wall was incorrect
    So he got £100,000 compensation via Claims Directl

    Its raining its pouring its all down to global warming

    Jack and Gill went into town
    to get some chips and sweeties
    Now he can't get his heart rate down
    and she has got diabetes

    Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
    kissed the girls and made then cry
    when the boys came out to play
    he kissed them to because he was gay

    Mary had a little lamb
    it bumped into a pylon
    10,000 volts zapped its arse
    and turned its wool to nylon

  2. #2
    Pauljenny's Avatar
    Pauljenny is offline Failed jackpot winner
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    Jack and Jill went up the hill... To fetch a pail of water.
    Jill came down, with half a Crown.... ( 27½pence ).
    .
    .
    .
    But it wasn't for fetching water..
    .
    .
    Beat that, Tezz.
    Last edited by Pauljenny; 04-10-2018 at 19:40.
    It's not where you live... It's HOW you live..
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    Little Miss Muffet
    Sat on her tuffet
    Her knickers all tattered and torn
    For it wasn't a spider
    That sat down beside her
    But little boy blue with his horn
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    Mary had a little lamb
    Her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her,
    between two chunks of bread.
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    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I've got a knife
    Get in the van
    A yawn is just a silent scream for beer.
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    Pauljenny's Avatar
    Pauljenny is offline Failed jackpot winner
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    Mary had a little lamb.... She bathed it in a bucket...
    .
    .
    Every time that it fell out.......
    .
    .
    The dog would come and....
    .
    .
    . Push it back in again.
    It's not where you live... It's HOW you live..
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    This is from The Brand New Monty Python Bok - published 1973*

    Mary had a little lamb
    And it was always gruntin’
    She tied it to a five-bar gate
    And kicked its little


    I’m sorry, people of a delicate disposition might be reading this thread.
    :-)

    * Really, it is.
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    Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor doggy a bone
    when she bent over , Rover took over , and gave her a bone of his own
    too blessed to be stressed
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  9. #9

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    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    All the kings horses and all the kings men
    Had scrambled egg for breakfast


    Brian
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  10. #10

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    Jack and Jill

    Went up the hill

    And did things they had not oughta


    And came down with a baby daughter

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