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Thread: Mammogram tips

  1. #31

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    Last time I had my prostate checked I asked the. Doc, how did he do it with both hands on my shoulders

  2. #32

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    Quote Originally Posted by izwozral View Post
    I went to the docs with a large lump on my right testicle, this was when there was a push for awareness of testicular cancer, often promoted by sport stars and celebrities. Being new to the area I just asked for any doctor when I rang for an appointment. The practice had four male and just one female doctor. Sods law, I ended up seeing the female doctor - but what stunning looking lady she was! Anyway, I explained why I was there and the doc asked me to drop my pants.

    Why is it when us men want to look manly does our penis decide to play hide and seek and said penis resembles a baby button mushroom?

    Feeling less than a man than five minutes previous and more than a trifle embarrassed, I stood there with Percy The Incredible Shrinking Penis.
    The doc gently took hold of my right testicle leaned forward and said "that's hot". For a brief second I felt smug until I realised what she meant.
    Then the Doc said "no need to worry, it's just a boil.
    I was obviously relieved, thanked the Doc and left. I got no further than a couple of hundred yards before I felt a wetness running down my leg - the boil had burst! :-)
    Despite the embarrassment, I was glad I went though.
    Thank you, I often wondered what ISP stood for! lol
    Last edited by PinkFlowerPetal; 14-03-2019 at 16:23.

  3. #33

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    Quote Originally Posted by Toffeecat View Post
    I rarely attend the docs. To manly if there's anything involving bottoms and bits. That was until a couple of years ago when my brother died of multiple cancers. Just had a letter through the post the other day. I'm 55 and the nhs have a national bowel cancer screening programme. No problem thinks me...It's just a stool sample. I didn't fully read the letter until a few days later. Apparently technology has moved on. Now it's an enema and insertion of a camera in a place no camera should go. Gulp! My wife who's had many a cancer scare and has been prodded and poked all over the place thought this most amusing. Comments like "you never know you might enjoy it" arnt the most supportive of comments. Bless her cotton socks. Oh well, if it keeps me well it's time to take one for the team. Could be worse. My mate gets a camera up his old fella every three months for bladder cancer and he's used to it. Hi hum. If it keeps us well.
    its much better now they dont use vhs
    Likes 1807truckman liked this post

  4. #34

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    Quote Originally Posted by mariesnowgoose View Post
    All women should partake in routine mammograms, but it also useful to prepare them for the procedure by giving them a few useful tips.

    It is suggested that you first go into your garage, strip to the waist, then lie on the cold concrete floor. You should then ask a friend to line up your breast with the wheel of the car before reversing over said breast.


    If this procedure is not sufficient preparation, we suggest that a good friend line up two bricks, place your breast between the bricks, and then slam them together with as much force as possible.


    You must remember, that this form of screening was, no doubt, invented by a man, so I'm sure they would have no trouble if we screened their balls for cancer in a similar fashion, they might find a 'kinder' method!

    Damn you've found my kinky activities.........LOL

  5. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by Toffeecat View Post
    I'm 55 and the nhs have a national bowel cancer screening programme. No problem thinks me...It's just a stool sample. I didn't fully read the letter until a few days later. Apparently technology has moved on. Now it's an enema and insertion of a camera in a place no camera should go.
    I have had the letter through the post,

    but mine,

    poo in your hand,

    smear each on a card doing it for 3 days and post it back,

    I bet the postman don't steal those letters.
    Likes mariesnowgoose liked this post

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