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Thread: Mammogram tips

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    Mammogram tips



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    All women should partake in routine mammograms, but it also useful to prepare them for the procedure by giving them a few useful tips.

    It is suggested that you first go into your garage, strip to the waist, then lie on the cold concrete floor. You should then ask a friend to line up your breast with the wheel of the car before reversing over said breast.


    If this procedure is not sufficient preparation, we suggest that a good friend line up two bricks, place your breast between the bricks, and then slam them together with as much force as possible.


    You must remember, that this form of screening was, no doubt, invented by a man, so I'm sure they would have no trouble if we screened their balls for cancer in a similar fashion, they might find a 'kinder' method!

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    Every time I have it done I faint itís the most painful check up known to man. 😣
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    Quote Originally Posted by campervanannie View Post
    Every time I have it done I faint itís the most painful check up known to man. 😣
    Every time I have it done I hardly feel it.

    Miss Whiplash has been slipping lately.
    Likes campervanannie, 1807truckman liked this post

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    Quote Originally Posted by mariesnowgoose View Post
    You must remember, that this form of screening was, no doubt, invented by a man, so I'm sure they would have no trouble if we screened their balls for cancer in a similar fashion, they might find a 'kinder' method!
    The Nurse found my tumour when she was washing and putting fresh talc on my test tickles but I was with Bupa
    nurse.jpg
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tezza33 View Post
    The Nurse found my tumour when she was washing and putting fresh talc on my test tickles but I was with Bupa
    nurse.jpg

    Life: unfinished threads in a never-ending tapestry
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    Quote Originally Posted by mariesnowgoose View Post
    All women should partake in routine mammograms, but it also useful to prepare them for the procedure by giving them a few useful tips.

    It is suggested that you first go into your garage, strip to the waist, then lie on the cold concrete floor. You should then ask a friend to line up your breast with the wheel of the car before reversing over said breast.


    If this procedure is not sufficient preparation, we suggest that a good friend line up two bricks, place your breast between the bricks, and then slam them together with as much force as possible.


    You must remember, that this form of screening was, no doubt, invented by a man, so I'm sure they would have no trouble if we screened their balls for cancer in a similar fashion, they might find a 'kinder' method!

    A most accurate description. You only forgot that one arm has to be above your head and the other wrapped around behind your back whilst you lean over at a strange angle in such a fashion as to give you extreme back pain whilst you hold an impossible position for 5 minutes or more.
    =^..^=
    Thanks mariesnowgoose thanked for this post

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    Quote Originally Posted by mariesnowgoose View Post
    All women should partake in routine mammograms, but it also useful to prepare them for the procedure by giving them a few useful tips.

    It is suggested that you first go into your garage, strip to the waist, then lie on the cold concrete floor. You should then ask a friend to line up your breast with the wheel of the car before reversing over said breast.


    If this procedure is not sufficient preparation, we suggest that a good friend line up two bricks, place your breast between the bricks, and then slam them together with as much force as possible.


    You must remember, that this form of screening was, no doubt, invented by a man, so I'm sure they would have no trouble if we screened their balls for cancer in a similar fashion, they might find a 'kinder' method!

    I will show this to Maggy, guess what she is having done on Friday
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tezza33 View Post
    I will show this to Maggy, guess what she is having done on Friday
    Just tell her not to worry, it's a lot better than having them chopped off!
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    Quote Originally Posted by mariesnowgoose View Post
    Just tell her not to worry, it's a lot better than having them chopped off!
    =^..^=

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharon the Cat View Post
    A most accurate description. You only forgot that one arm has to be above your head and the other wrapped around behind your back whilst you lean over at a strange angle in such a fashion as to give you extreme back pain whilst you hold an impossible position for 5 minutes or more.
    That sounds like the way we conceived our first

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