Your post highlights the term itís never to late. Thinking about you at this difficult time.
My husband Geoff was the same Oppy he had not spoken to his father and his family in over 30 years. So although I had been married to him for 15 years I had never met his family until the last few months before he died.
When he got diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last year I begged him to get in touch with his father and sort out their differences, as time was of the essence for both of them,as his father was old and infirm. I'm pleased he took my advice as his father died a couple of months later.
But at least he had now reconnected with the rest of the family who were all there when he died.
Life is too short for regrets
My thoughts are with you x
Thanks for sharing that with us,it must have been hard.
I went through a similar situation 4 years ago,my dad died and we hadn't spoken for years,the difference was we never made up.People called me a hypocrite for going to the funeral but I did that for my benefit only just in case I regretted not going at a later date,you can't turn the clock back.I haven't regretted anything so far and feel fine about how things turned out.I didn't want a reconciliation anyway as he treated my mum(who I loved dearly)disgracefully.A pity you can't choose your family as you can your friends.
Not sure the blood is thicker than water saying really stands true as I was sold at a young age so don't have a clue who my biological parents are .
My Mum was the lady that brought me up from 10 days old (ok she failed pretty miserably lol) the man that is legally my father left when I was 4 years old, and I have had very little contact, I have spent many years hating him as I hated not having a Dad as a boy like everyone else did.
I tried to speak to him but it ended up with me holding him by his collar telling him what I thought of him at 80 years old as I was in a very bad place at the time after my divorce.
He is now a very sad old 91 year old retired doctor who has Alzheimer's and I am in contact with his partner as I said to her the other day there is no point carrying a grudge and I have to admit as much as he was a useless father I have to respect him as for over 40 years he always paid my Mum maintenance as he was a gentleman.
Do I want to be his friend,not really no but if I can help in any way with his partner then I will.
I think that we also forget what a different world our parents were brought up in as he certainly came from a life most people couldn't begin to understand , privileged yes but with no affection whatsoever.
I was laughing with his partner as she said he was actually really taken to school by the chauffeur in the Rolls and brought up by the governess.
Last edited by Chainsaw Charlie; 15-11-2017 at 10:11.
our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family oppy.....take comfort in that you got to say your goodbyes.
Thoughts are with you Oppy. A little tale, many years ago we went to visit one of our elderly customers in hospital, who only had an estranged daughter, his wife having died years before, being from Russian he had no one else. He was a lovely old chap, and so my husband had persuaded me to visit with him. I gave Alec a drink of water and we held hands, he was talking to me like I was his daughter, I didn't put him straight, I told my hubby on the way out that I felt he had finally found the peace that had eluded him, he died that night. Some people however fleeting can leave a big impact on your life, Alec being one of them. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind your father knew you were there and had also found peace. Take care. x
Thank you everyone for the messages of encouragement and the pm's too. I really do appreciate you taking the time to hold my hand in friendship. I don't think that we became reconciled, but I do strongly believe that I was what was wanted so that he could slip away. I'm still confused. I'm still not able to like him, don't get me wrong though, there's a world of difference between love and like and the two are not necessarily linked. but now is not the time for me to wallow in self pity. Emotions are sometimes difficult things to control, as I alluded to in my first post I experienced ones that I had not know for many decades.
So once again you wonderful band of eejits, thank you so very much.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)