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Thread: My Dad

  1. #1

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    My Dad



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    Yesterday morning my father died. We had been estranged for many years and I thought that I wouldn't care, how wrong can one be. My niece had been caring for him during the last couple of months while he deteriorated (93 with lung cancer) and had kept our son updated with things. Following a 'phone call from my niece I drove over to my dads house on Sunday night. There was this remnant of a man whom I thought I despised. He was in a coma. My niece held his hand and told him that I was there, she then passed his hand to me, that was the point when I realised how much I actually loved him. I spoke to him, I poured my heart out and then for the first time that I can remember, I told him that I loved him. Although it was extremely faint, I am sure that he squeezed my fingers. My heart broke. I sat with him until the early hours of Monday then made the hour and a half journey home. He died about two hours after my return.
    Sorry folks, but I regard you as my friends, please forgive me, but I just need to try and get some sort of perspective on things.

  2. #2

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    Sorry to hear this Peter.

    Please take some comfort knowing that you would feel much worse if you hadn't made the effort to see him for the last time.
    God bless Colonel Sanders. Marvellous man!
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  3. #3

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    Sorry to hear these things happen.
    My mother went the same way though i did not much care as she gave me away at birth to my gran parents to rase,at the end i think things hit her and on last hrs she said all her nonsence was not worth it after all,she suffered from skitso being nice one minute nasty the next.
    One thing for sure we can never return times lost,things will get better my friend but memories will always linger in ones mind,good or bad.
    Now its time to get on with your life looking after those around you & your self.
    Only dirty people wash
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  4. #4

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    No need for apologies chap....

    Times like those make most of us take some time to reflect....
    sometimes it's good... sometimes it's not...

    Take comfort from the thoughts that in your case,you had chance to say what you needed to say AND that it was heard and understood...

    Sometimes we don't get that chance...

    Thoughts are with you chap.
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  5. #5
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    Name: Gordon
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    Sorry to read this peter,you are a bigger and better person for saying this,I sat with my dad for days holding his hand we never really got on but bloods thicker than water ,the nurse told me to go home have a shave n shower change clothes then return ,I was hardly away from his bedside and he left us,I still regret leaving him there,they reckoned he knew I wasn’t there but who knows ,then six weeks later my mother passed (from a broken heart we were told) so I know a bit where you are coming from but our thoughts are with you at this time
    Regards Gordon
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  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by The laird View Post
    Sorry to read this peter,you are a bigger and better person for saying this,I sat with my dad for days holding his hand we never really got on but bloods thicker than water ,the nurse told me to go home have a shave n shower change clothes then return ,I was hardly away from his bedside and he left us,I still regret leaving him there,they reckoned he knew I wasn’t there but who knows ,then six weeks later my mother passed (from a broken heart we were told) so I know a bit where you are coming from but our thoughts are with you at this time
    Regards Gordon
    My cousin is a doctor and has worked in hospices she will say he knew as with my daughter telling my mum she couldn't die until she finished her exams, mum died 6 weeks (Lauren's exam finished at 3 and mum was dead before 8 ) later having not eaten or drunk properly and being a vegetable after the stroke and Alzheimer's , my cousin believes souls are connected ?
    I just found it spooky
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  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by oppy View Post
    Yesterday morning my father died. We had been estranged for many years and I thought that I wouldn't care, how wrong can one be. My niece had been caring for him during the last couple of months while he deteriorated (93 with lung cancer) and had kept our son updated with things. Following a 'phone call from my niece I drove over to my dads house on Sunday night. There was this remnant of a man whom I thought I despised. He was in a coma. My niece held his hand and told him that I was there, she then passed his hand to me, that was the point when I realised how much I actually loved him. I spoke to him, I poured my heart out and then for the first time that I can remember, I told him that I loved him. Although it was extremely faint, I am sure that he squeezed my fingers. My heart broke. I sat with him until the early hours of Monday then made the hour and a half journey home. He died about two hours after my return.
    Sorry folks, but I regard you as my friends, please forgive me, but I just need to try and get some sort of perspective on things.
    Thank you for sharing.
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  8. #8

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    I can't begin to understand how you must feel Peter. We can't change the past but putting it behind you and making that visit was the right thing to do. Take strength from your lovely family.
    Love, Sue and David.xx

  9. #9

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    Sorry to read this Peter, You and Sue have had a fair share of issues last couple of years , Keep Strong, thinking of you both

    Andrew

  10. #10

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    oppy we have never met but thank you for posting, take comfort from the fact that you got to say everything that you hadn't been able to tell your father and that you know in your heart that he heard you and more importantly he acknowledged the fact that you were there, take comfort from your family and now you have some sort of closure and you can move forward, thinking of you both

    Jeanette xx
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