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Thread: Trying for a baby.

  1. #11
    R0B's Avatar
    R0B is offline Full Member
    Name: Robert
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    I clicked 'Like' because I couldn't find the 'WTAF?' button.

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  2. #12

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    I can imagine Brackens face thinking thank God I am a Collie cross and not a Shitzu
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  3. #13

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    And theres me thinking a big bird brought babies,well thats what my wife told me,im in total shock.
    Only dirty people wash

  4. #14

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    Ral Iíve just been able to post because of the tears letís hope you have another good few years of married life! Anyway Happy Birthday Izzy
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  5. #15

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    i now have a number of pictures in my head that the doc says i may never be able to unsee
    ta

    happy birthday though












    thoracic surgeons take your breath away
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  6. #16

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    My story involving a jelly fish, hotel room and a screaming jessy will be coming soon, it's totally true and I bear the mental scars to prove it.
    At what age do you think itís appropriate to tell 
a road itís adopted?
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  7. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by izwozral View Post
    My story involving a jelly fish, hotel room and a screaming jessy will be coming soon, it's totally true and I bear the mental scars to prove it.
    Ral have you ever thought about having your own TV show ? . If you have Pauljenny and Tezza33 as your guest , you will be a overnight millionaire
    Lipsmacking, thirst quenching, ace tasting, motivating, cool buzzing, high talking, fast living, ever giving, cool fizzing...........Cant remember
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  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffmossy View Post
    Ral have you ever thought about having your own TV show ? . If you have Pauljenny and Tezza33 as your guest , you will be a overnight millionaire
    Three Stooges??????
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  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by izwozral View Post
    Well we were 27 - 28 years ago.

    For two years Izzy & I tried to make a baby but it just wasn't happening, no matter how many times we slapped belly's and no matter what position we tried, it just wouldn't happen. Izzy thought she was barren, I thought I was firing blanks.
    Time to seek help, so we went to the docs who referred us to the fertility clinic at our local hospital.

    Caution: From this point on, things get a bit er, rum!

    A very nice nurse gave me a plastic jar and said "produce a sample!, looking quizzical at her she simply said "sperm". "Oh", I said
    So off I go into a small room and start to manipulate my love lance whilst imagining making love to Bridgett Bardot, oops I mean Izzy. Anyway after some time I could feel that I was drawing near to cumming so I put the plastic jar to my love lance.
    I spasmed! In my frenzy I got my my love lance caught inside the plastic jar and I couldn't pull the blooming thing off. So I started pacing round the small room looking like a deformed and frantic Dalek. Eventually, my rather splendid love lance wilted and I was able to withdraw from the plastic jar.

    26 years later:

    We are at the Jeff Mossy mini meet at Sandside and having a meal with everyone there. The conversation turned to babies so I volunteered the above story for a bit of a laugh.
    After further drinks we all wished each other goodnight and we retired to our respective MH's.

    In our MH:

    I am in the bathroom brushing my teeth, Izzy is in the bedroom.

    Izzy calls out "Fancy telling them that story".

    Me, "At least I didn't do the Dalek impression"

    Izzy, "What's that"?

    Me, "MASTERBAAATE, MAAASTTERRRBATEE." done in my best Dalek impression of EXTERMINATE.

    Izzy, corpsing in the bedroom screaming "stop it, oh stop it, I'm wetting myself. A common problem amongst women who have had children apparently!

    Me, MMMAAASTTERBBAAAATE I'm saying as I come out of the bathroom.

    To be confronted with the sight of Izzy still corpsing, knickers around her ankles ----and p1ssing into the dogs bowl!!!

    The dog has got it's head cocked to one side with the look that says, ***, REALLY???

    What made it worse, Izzy put the bowl on the floor and the dog shot to it thinking it was getting a late night supper.

    Anyway, the outcome of this saga is that we have a beautiful 26 year old daughter who we are immensely proud of.



    Told with the kind permission of Izzy.



    She just doesn't know it yet! Happy Birthday Izzy, loves ya babes.
    When I saw the title of the thread I was expecting some pictures.
    To follow maybe??????
    NEVER raise your hand to your kids,, it leaves your groin unprotected.
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  10. #20
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    Happy Birthday Izzy xxx

    Ral, hope the bruises have healed by next time we meet. Epic
    Don't Worry, Be Happy
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