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Thread: Cat and Dog Medication guidance

  1. #1

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    Cat and Dog Medication guidance



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    How to Give Your Cat a Pill
    & How to give Your Dog a Pill
    THE CAT -
    1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of catís mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill in mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

    2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.


    3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

    4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

    5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

    6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paw. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub catís throat vigorously.

    7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

    8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.


    9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouseís forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

    10. Retrieve cat from neighborís shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

    11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

    12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

    13. Tie the little *******ís front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

    14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

    15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
    THE DOG -
    How to Give a Dog a Pill
    Wrap it in bacon.

    Channa

  2. #2

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    As a dog lover and a previous owner of a Labrador I found that some cold cooked sausage with the tablet jammed inside helped it go down quick !

    Mind your Labradors are controlled by their stomachs, a Labrador not eating is not well.
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  3. #3

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    see picture
    Cat: wrap animal in several layers of towel, with legs tucked firmly in.
    Get an assistant to prise cats jaws apart and pop pill as far back as possible*. Stroke the cats neck upwards at the front, until it licks its nose.

    Dog: wrap the tablet well into a piece of ripe Brie, making sure the Brie is well stuck to the tablet and completely envelopes it. Let the dog eat the cheese.

    Other cheese may do, but we found that ripe Brie is sticky enough and smelly enough to work best.

    *It won't choke. only humans have a throat that can choke on food.
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  4. #4

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    One of my cats is on meds for a gastric prob and the post had me in fits as its about 100% correct,jet saw me fetch the meds tonight and made a bolt for the cat flap only to find i had the door locked closed,so under the k/table from where he jumped into the cloths horse before i even got the mouth seringe loaded with meds ,then they say there daft,far from it.
    Last edited by trevskoda; 07-11-2018 at 22:40.
    Only dirty people wash
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  5. #5

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    Dogs eat anything, don't they!

    I have to sneak up to the cat when it's asleep when it is time to put a worm or flea drop on the back of the neck - man, she can mind-read when someone is even thinking about doing that and goes into full-blown rabid mode!
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  6. #6

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    Ask dog to sit and say please by raising paw. Say good boy and reward with tablet. Sorted.
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  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Caz View Post
    Ask dog to sit and say please by raising paw. Say good boy and reward with tablet. Sorted.
    Worked every time with one of my old JRTs. He thought it must be a treat & always swallowed it before he realised it was anything else.

    When it comes to cats ............. from years of experience all I can say is quick & calm. Our next door neighbour has adopted a stray & couldn't get the cat in the basket to go to the vet so they called on us for help. It took Phill & I about 5 seconds & they kindly put a pint each behind the bar of the local for us.
    =^..^=
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  8. #8

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    Thatís the way with cats cool calm quick. Our cat is easy she knows I donít mess helped mum with her cat the other day. He did spit it out once but second attempt was a success
    One Life Live It
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  9. #9

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    Made us laugh as well thanks
    One Life Live It

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